A girl offended at her stepdad for saying “no” to their household trip plans has divided opinions on Mumsnet.
In a put up shared to the parenting web site’s Am I Being Unreasonable? (AIBU) discussion board on November 6, consumer VertAmon mentioned her stepdad refused to remain on the Spanish resort they’d chosen for his or her subsequent household trip. The placement was a favourite of the poster and her mother’s, as they’d stayed there yearly throughout her childhood.
Nonetheless, the stepdad “does not wish to go wherever” that VertAmon’s mother and father went as a married couple, together with former household trip spots.
VertAmon believes her stepdad’s perspective is “pathetic and a bit of bit controlling,” however Mumsnet customers had been cut up on the difficulty, with the put up receiving over 200 feedback.
Elizabeth Fedrick, counselor and proprietor of Evolve Counseling and Behavioral Companies in Gilbert, Arizona, mentioned it’s normal for individuals to keep away from locations their partner visited with an ex.
“This is perhaps as a result of new accomplice desirous to have experiences which can be distinctive and particular and that don’t embody the reminiscence of an ex-partner,” she advised Newsweek.
Nonetheless, it can be resulting from jealousy or insecurity, which is extra problematic.
“These behaviors are sometimes damaging and troublesome for the remainder of the events concerned,” mentioned Fedrick.
“On this state of affairs, it might need been useful for the stepdad to comply with attend this occasion, since mom had already agreed, however then request for his spouse to talk with him sooner or later earlier than agreeing to plans wherein he’s included.”
In her put up, VertAmon defined that their daughter was born throughout COVID. As this might be their first trip as a household, she wished to go someplace particular.
“There’s a resort in Spain that my mother and pa took me and my siblings to most years,” she wrote.
“We additionally went as a wider household (so grandparents, cousins and so on.) and it is lately been reopened after a protracted closure for a four-five-year refit.”
The poster requested her mother if they may do a giant household trip, with the stepdad, his grownup kids and grandkids additionally coming alongside. Her mother was excited by the concept, however later that day, she known as to say she’d modified her thoughts.
“She mentioned she had been desirous about it and would like to go some place else as she desires to go to a different nation subsequent yr,” VertAmon continued.
“This was odd, so I pushed and it seems her husband is refusing to go, as he ‘does not wish to go wherever that mother and my dad used to go collectively.’ This is not the primary time he has been bizarre like this about one thing comparable, however AIBU in pondering that is completely pathetic, and even a bit of bit controlling?”
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Customers had been cut up on the state of affairs. Within the ballot hooked up to the put up, 54 p.c agreed with the poster, whereas 46 p.c felt she was being unreasonable.
“I would inform them you are going there and it is as much as them in the event that they wish to be a part of you or not,” mentioned CSR721.
“Why do you have to change your plans as a result of her new accomplice is insecure.”
Peashoots agreed, writing: “He is being completely pathetic and must recover from himself.”
Nonetheless, HollyBollyBooBoo felt the poster was “insensitive” to recommend vacationing at a resort.
“Completely get the place he is coming from. I would hate that,” she mentioned.
“Would you wish to go someplace along with your partner realizing they had been having good nostalgic recollections of their time there with their ex?” requested pastabakeonaplate.
Within the feedback, VertAmon mentioned she and her husband had determined to go to the resort anyway.
“This was simply extending a proposal as she has been asking once we’d be touring with [our daughter] so she may begin desirous about greater household journeys,” she mentioned.
“He’s a prat in different methods, so I am not fussed if he goes or not, it simply upsets me that mother is not coming (because it’s unfair she will get to go on a household journey apparently) to not ‘rock the boat.'”
VertAmon is not the one one to fall out with their household over trip plans. In July, one other Mumsnet consumer went viral after sharing the story of her disastrous weekend away along with her in-laws, whereas a “dramatic lady” refusing to share a room along with her preschool-aged nieces on trip was backed by Reddit customers.